I have just realized I made a horrible mistake.
That’s because I have just about finished building my duck boat, a double-ended, 14-foot kayak that rides low and draws a couple of inches of water.
I know, it sounds awesome. After all, this is a boat expressly built for duck hunting.
The problem is this. The boat’s design is such that you lay down in it while waiting for ducks and geese to come into range.
On the surface this seems great. After all it combines my two favourite activities, duck hunting and reclining. Even now I am envisioning bright sunny early autumn afternoon naps in the marsh, being cradled by the bobbing of my duck boat.
But there is a horrible side of this too. And this is what I never considered prior to building it.
If I am to shoot a duck the design of this boat requires me to do something I swore off long ago: a sit-up.
That’s right, a sit-up.
Yes, to get into shooting position, you need to do a sit-up.
And not at a comfortable pace either, which is once every decade for me. No, it means doing a sit-up whenever ducks show up. This literally puts me at the mercy of ducks, which have been my sworn enemy ever since they first starting demonstrating to me and others what a horrible shot I am.
It’s not so bad right now, but once the ducks realize that every shot means making me do a sit-up, I bet the flocks will break up and start coming in singly at two-second intervals.
What was I thinking?
Duck hunting is supposed to be a leisure activity.
I suppose there is a bright side to this. That being that, if I have a good season with lots of shooting I will walk away from it with a six pack. And, if I have a bad hunt where I miss everything, I might just do the same.
The thing is adversity like this often brings out the best in a person. Now that I know that I must earn my shots with exercise, I will actually focus more on my shooting and try to get three birds with three shots to minimize my exercise.
Failing that I will only shoot at high overhead shots that do not require me to move at all. Or just have a good nap.
Another plus, I suppose, is that my hunting buddies will soon pick up on the fact that every shot I take means that I have done a sit-up. Knowing them, this will mean they will flare ducks my way just to giggle at the thought.
Also, not one of them will ever borrow it unless they just want a nap in the marsh. For like me, the last time any of these guys did a sit-up was 1979.
Do I regret making thins boat? Not really.
It will very likely be just the ticket in the places I hunt, and there is a great feeling of accomplishment in creating a boat out of fibreglass.
And who knows? Maybe I’ll actually get some benefits out of doing sit-ups.
All things considered it’s not that bad. It’s not the first time I never thought things through. But this is the first time my exercising poor judgment will be literal.