If you are wondering why this winter is as mild as it is and why the ice on our lakes has taken so long to thicken, look no further than me. You see, last year I bought myself a gas-powered auger for ice fishing.

Was it required? I thought so.

You see, I have gone through all my years of ice fishing using a hand auger. But last year I turned 60 and I figured it was high time for me to get a power auger so I wouldn’t have to expend a whole week’s worth of energy drilling one hole through 20 inches of late-season ice.

How was I supposed to know that this would trigger a reverse Ice Age?

Obviously, there is no science to validate this or explain it. But nevertheless, it appears to be true. Ever since I bought that auger, I have had no need for it. In almost all cases, the ice I was over could have easily been drilled through with a hand auger – even by a man of my advanced laziness.

This phenomenon is something that routinely occurs with people who buy snow blowers. I have at least three friends who have bought snow blowers over the last few years and now are wondering why. But, as far as I can tell, my observations are the first that make a connection between buying a new power auger and the lack of ice.

I was out the other week ice fishing for the first time this year, so I took my power auger along thinking that I would finally have real use for it. It turned out we were over the thickness of ice a hand auger eats up. And a hand auger always works and weighs very little, too.

On the other hand, my power auger could be used as a weight in an Olympic-level deadlift event. Also, it requires 75 pulls to start and a 5-minute wait after I flood it, which it turns out is one of my God-given talents.

But forget all that. The real disappointment is after you start it and then start drilling and milliseconds later realize that you are through the ice.It’s hardly fun at all.Heck, my power auger is so effective at eliminating ice that I am thinking of placing my frozen turkey beside it next Thanksgiving.

I have begun to wonder why I bought one at all. But I also know deep down that if I did not have one I would be drilling with a hand auger through 47 inches of hard ice next time I went out. If I have learned anything in my 60 years, it is this.

It is one of those darned if you do, darned if you don’t situations. So, the real question is how do you make it work for you? I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I have come up with a solution. The problem I feel is that most ice anglers might not like it.

I am thinking of buying an even bigger power auger, an underwater camera, a snowmobile, and a portable and permanent ice hut. I figure that’s all it will take to eliminate the lake ice completely and create enough open water for me to fish out of with my boat.