With Christmas rapidly approaching, many outdoorsmen and women are in full panic mode. Some might even be using the new winter camouflage they bought to hide. And that’s understandable. Gift giving is never easy.

In fact, for outdoors enthusiasts of all stripes, it can be particularly painful. That’s because we typically see gifts solely through an outdoors lens. For instance, if our significant others say they want jewelry, we naturally assume they mean duck bands. Or if they suggest that they would like electronics, we take that to mean they are asking for a fish finder.

The point is we rarely, if ever, get it right.

Lucky for you I worked out the solution to this conundrum years ago.

With that in mind, here is my gift to all you befuddled, outdoors enthusiasts who have yet to find anything remotely resembling what the non-outdoorsy folks in your life would like for Christmas. (By the way, it would help if you looked in a place other than a bait and tackle shop.) 

Ready for the best Christmas gift-giving advice you ever got? OK, why not give your non-outdoorsy family and friends the gift of not having to hear another hunting or fishing story, if only for a day?

Trust me, they’ll consider it the greatest gift of all.

That’s easy, you say? Yeah right.

It actually takes a lot of self-control, selflessness, and sacrifice.

This means you cannot look at your Christmas tree and say, “That reminds me of the time I was up north and shot four spruce grouse out of the same tree.”

Nor does it mean you can retell the story of how you got your biggest gobbler, which you can’t help but notice, dwarfs the turkey being served.

And when the grandkids mention Santa and his team of reindeer, you can’t – just for the duration of the gift, mind you – correct them and say that they are not actually reindeer, but are in fact caribou. Which is something you know a little bit about because you went to northern Quebec in 1989 and hunted them.

Nor can you mention how you had an ice fishing sled which was far more efficient and better designed and constructed than Santa’s sled. Or note how you once almost got frostbite because you went snowshoe hare hunting in socks that were about the same thickness as those stockings that were recently hung over the chimney with care.

As you can see, it is not an easy gift to give at all. But, if my spouse is any indication, it is one that is definitely appreciated.

This is not to say it should be the only gift you give. Do that and you might not ever have an audience to tell your hunting and fishing stories to again. But it is the gift that answers your better half’s letters to Santa or your vegan sister-in-law’s prayers.

The good news is you only need to lay off for a day or two. If you do it much longer than that, they will not appreciate the effort as much next year.

Better still, it is that one gift you do not have to cloak in wrapping paper and decorate with a bow. Speaking of bows, remind me after Christmas and I’ll tell you about the time I arrowed that big buck…

Happy Holidays to all.