I am working two part time jobs right now, that probably add up to more than full-time. I also sit on two local not-for-profit boards that are going through transitions. All four of these pieces of work that I am involved with are faith-based communities. But, sometimes in the middle of all this work, I find God hard to grasp. Why is God so hard to find in my doing of God’s work?
God can be found in the middle of Board meeting. God can also be found in my driving to Toronto to meet with supporters of Mennonite Central Committee. God can be found when I am preparing a sermon for Poole Mennonite Church as well. But many times I am just too busy to see God or I am too focused on the job that I must get done that I miss the presence of God. This is not a new experience with me.
Other people do good work in the world who do not need God’s presence. They have great moral grounding, and work well with people to make the world a better place. But I need God to guide me in my time here on earth. I need a presence beyond myself to nurture my inner being, my soul. I cannot really define God or my soul, but I sense when that is out of whack in my own life.
While Jesus of Nazareth was living in Palestine, he was busy teaching, walking around, doing miracles, hanging out with sinners and friends. He was busy. I think he may have had a few committee meetings with those 12 guys he had selected as his followers. He needed time alone with God as well. He went away to be by himself often.
If you are someone who wants to be in relationship with God, how do you make it happen ? Or how does God make it happen in you ? It seems, sometimes, that we find God when we are not looking for God. We may not have to make anything happen at all.
If we want to have God show up, it might only be about us/me. I may be inviting God to show up in my own image of God. This is difficult not to do. I am human, and I want something good for me, and so I project God into everything I want for myself.
I still believe that I am doing my work for God, but this may be wrong. I need to always be in touch with my soul to see that my work is not only about life and feelings. If is hard not to be selfish about my life and work.
Psalm 46 says:
“ Be still
It is not about me. It is about God. I trust I will find if in new ways this week. I need to stop trying so hard. I need to let it go, and it/God will find me.